The Kiwi Coffin Club

Love the way these baby-boomers are rethinking the end, turning old ideas on their head, the way they always have – while making friends and tap-dancing.

Thanks to my dear friend, writer Katie Delaney, for sharing this.

The deathbed vision

Michael-Barbato. (2) -Photo-Adam-Knott-The-Australian-
Dr Michael Barbato, photo by Adam Knott, The Australian 

“With impending death, the circulation slows, the heartbeat weakens, and the breathing gets slower or more irregular, but just as the heart beat and breathing case, the brain seems to have a burst of activity.” – So says Dr Michael Barbato in a recent interview.

The interview can be found at Sydney’s Daily Telegraph. It reminds us that we know so little about the process of dying. It’s also a great introduction to Dr Barbato – who has so many insights into how to be at the deathbed of those we love.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/dying-patients-study-reveals-brain-surge-in-final-moments-of-life/news-story/8a98ba1ee542f7fbe63aa90805cd8521

If this is difficult to find google:

Dying patients study reveals ‘brain surge’ in final moments of life by Jordan Baker.The Sunday Telegraph, June 4, 2017 12:00am.

(Thank you to Gary Pullar for suggesting this posting)

For more of Michael Barbato’s insights, go to:

http://theendoflifematters.com/experts/dr-michael-barbato-palliative-care

Some of Michael Barbato’s books are:

Reflections of a Setting Sun (2009)

Caring for the Living and the Dying (2010)

Midwifing Death (2014)

 

 

When a death exposes hidden tensions

When Mark’s partner Jane died, he didn’t expect the reaction of her family.

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“Jane didn’t want a formal funeral, she just wanted close family and friends around,” Mark said.

“We had a gathering here at our house.  She wrote a list of people she wanted to come and that’s what happened. I stood up and gave a eulogy. It was hard for me to do. But I talked about how perfect she was.”

“Less than two weeks after Jane died I came home one day and all this stuff was gone from the house and I thought ‘What’s going on?’ and only found out later where it was – it had been taken by one of Jane’s sisters.  It was nerve-racking.

“Whenever I cooked I would take a meal up to Jane’s mother. I was looking around out the front up there thinking ‘Jeez it’s a bit untidy’. And then I suddenly realised the bowls and containers strewn all over the front yard were mine. They were ones I’d delivered food in. Jane’s sister had been throwing them there.

“And I thought, ‘This is astounding, what’s going on here?’

“Jane and I didn’t have any wills and we had agreed that that was fine. Our assets would just go to the partner and that’s how it would be.  But ten days before Jane died her sisters panicked her into writing a will and I wasn’t part of it. I didn’t even know there was one. I only found out about it through my son who told me about it afterwards”.

“They almost would have had to hold a pen for her to sign – it wasn’t anything like her normal signature and it caused huge amounts of problems for me after Jane died.”

Mark collected some of his items from the house, including artwork and then his daughter gathered up others later. In the end, Jane’s children persuaded her sisters she would want her assets to go to Mark. But it took two years to work everything out and Mark and Jane’s sisters no longer have anything to do with each other.